Browsing Non-Fiction on deviantART

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Sleep ParalysisThe demon visited me once again today.

Yes, today. Not tonight or the night before or after; times you’d think a demon would be out. This demon knows no such boundaries, it would seem, and so it usually visits me in the morning.

I lay in bed, having woken up much earlier than I wanted or needed to, with my eyes shut in hopes of remedying the situation. My body relaxed several times, and I felt sleep just within my grasp…
But several times my body found some fault with the split second-imagery of my dreams and jolted me awake, leaving me frustrated, but not deterred.
I would prefer it to what happens next.
The final time I shut Sleep Paralysis3 days ago in Emotional

CrookedThere is an old nursery rhyme that tells us about the Crooked Man, and everything he had was crooked. I ask how one could live...live a crooked life. How could someone that is broken...stay in a broken house...surround himself with crooked things? I am my own crooked man, and I can give you the answer. You cannot live a crooked, broken life. Your soul, flesh, and bone may live, but you as a person cannot. Day by day, crooked events envelope you deeper...deeper...deeper into darkness. Crookedness is a demon that twists you...warps you...but it does not cause your pain. Some of us...some of us are destined for crookedness. I've led my life alonCrooked2 days ago in Emotional

SometimesSometimes, you feel like giving up. In your mind, you had given up all hope and all that’s left to do is to quietly disappear in a corner. Perhaps you didn’t have enough courage to continue moving on; afraid of failure, you stand still in the road called life, unsure of what to do next. Fear of being unable to stop what’s going to happen next, fear of being unable to prevent that same mishap from happening again, fear of falling again after that one thousand failures. Because of that fear, you’re moving further from me.

“Now all I want to do is forget this ever happened. Forget it all, go to sleep, and never wakSometimes2 days ago in Emotional

If OnlyIf only you could understand the depths to which I hate myself; like a maniac bottled inside a cage with barbed wire around his throat. If only you could see the blood I've shed, bottled up and buried with the last remnants of my being, just to stop offending your eyes. If only you could fathom the horrors these two eyes have lived; so potent in the night, rendering me sleepless still. If only you could feel the fire burning in my chest; the relentless yearning transfixed behind thick walls of flesh. If only you could touch the longing; so desperate, like a fish that swims through sewers, calling out behind dark corners; begging for another lIf Only2 days ago in Emotional

A Stand for Sexuality.I’ve been waiting a while to get the chance and write this just to put it out there and try and make a difference. First of all;

Definition of Homosexual:
adjective
(of a person) sexually attracted to people of one's own sex.
• involving or characterized by sexual attraction between people of the same sex: homosexual desire.
noun
a person who is sexually attracted to people of their own sex.

Definition of Homophobia:
noun
an extreme and irrational aversion to homosexuality and homosexual people.

Now I guarantee that so many people who are homophobic or are uncomfortable with homosexuals, bisexuals, or anyone that is not heteroA Stand for Sexuality.2 days ago in Emotional

Blame and TrustNo one really thinks about it when they pick up the knife,

“Yo-ho! I’m here, the party can start now baby!” a girl with dark brown hair, it could be easily be mistaken as black in shadows. In truth there was a faint violent tang to it from her most recent hair-dye. She wore a black tank top and blue jeans there were broken on the knees. A black wrist band and her hair was clipped up making it spike and bounce with each step. Her shoes were black but had a white stripe on the very bottom. She also wore a dark azure ring on the opposite hand, around her middle finger. The way her right side of her face was a long thick hair lBlame and Trust2 days ago in Emotional

Twisted SmilesI stand here looking at the cloudy sky above me. It smiles its most maniacal smiles and laughs as rain begins to pour from the murky heavens. I simply stare into the rain and begin to smile back.

It is my most delirious smile, full of mischief and laughter. The rain responds with a quiet gust of laughing wind. My twisted smile, it curves even further.

I take a deep breath and laugh, knowing that inside of this madness, that this is where I want to be. It is here where my heart desires to be, it is here where I belong, it is here where I am immersed in this sunken abyss.

The raven with his call of laughter, he never seemed so loud. Even in Twisted Smiles3 days ago in Emotional

Cold Blooded Lovers"What if I told you...I still loved you?" She confessed.

His eyes, closed while his throat twitched with laughter.
"Who could ever love a girl like you? You were the worst
decision of my life! You don't know how long I've waited
to tell you that!" His lips, dry from the heartless yelling
lead to his back facing her.

A grin crept across her drenched mouth before a deep sigh
slithered out. "Who could ever love a girl like me?
You're right. Who could? After all, it was you who
created this? You made sure no one else could love me?
Made damn sure that I would be convinced you could
only love me." Once again, that deep breath escaped
her lips Cold Blooded Lovers6 hours ago in Emotional

Pre and Post Routine"Cut, cut, cut my skin
Take my pain away.
Quickity, quickity, quickity, quick
I wash it down the drain.

Now, now, let it bleed
Let them bleed away.
Soon, soon, they will heal
And scars they will be made."

I stood in front of the mirror, undressed with the shower on behind me. My face turned sour at my reflection making it all too easy to duck down and take the pencil sharpener blade from my pocket. Easily I could see the marks where my too-tight-bra would grip and began slicing inside those lines.

At first they weren't deep enough. Then I pressed harder and cut wildly on my side, back, the side of and underneath my breast, and then low inPre and Post Routine2 days ago in Emotional

VoidYou were never there

Always AbsentVoid13 hours ago in Emotional

True love is two 15 years and 9 hours after my birth, my Nanna passed away. It was the first close death I ever experienced, and I watched as everyone else experience it as well.

My Nanna was always a child at heart. My family would go over to the cottage many times a year to visit with her and Papa. She also loved to go out on the town. For example, one year my Nanna, Grandma and I all went into the city. I recall how amazed she was at the different foods and fish there were at the TnT supermarket. She bought a duck head. My grandmother later told me that they went back, and brought others with them as well. She also loved to fish. There were many occasioTrue love is two1 day ago in Emotional

In An Alternate WorldAll is peaceful...

Nobody breaks down and no act of aggression happens spontaneously. There is no trauma or tragedy.

Relatives never cry at funerals, they merely embrace the cycle of life and cherish their memories of the departed.

When neighbors argue, they shout at one another but they always resolve their differences. There are no physical confrontations and nobody is ever injured at the hands of another human.

If one friend betrays another, the two individuals simply stop communicating and their lives continue separately. The incident is left in the past and they each move forward in search of new companions.

Siblings might disagreeIn An Alternate World1 day ago in Emotional

When We're SmallWhen I was a little girl I would always ask “Why?”
My father would never know how to answer and so he told me “Stop being so damn smart” or “Why won’t you act your age?”
He wasn’t angry, I don’t think, I think he was just baffled and I’m sure I would have been too.
I think about it now, what will I say when my kid asks about death
Or where babies come from
Or what something resembling a stick of dynamite is doing under the sink in my bathroom
Or why mommy and daddy are fighting
Or why daddy isn’t here anymore (I hope it never comes to that)
What will I say?When We're Small1 day ago in Emotional

Bully
A contest entry and dedicated to my friend
~o~
Her head turned at the noise of a crowd.
            A crowd of what is known as humans.
            There stood a girl, trembling from top to bottom as tiny raindrops poured down her red cheeks. She closed her eyes as she gripped her fists against her sides, she closed her eyes praying for everything to be just a simple dream… just a simple nightmare.
            A fist. No, not just a simple fist. It was a fist of embarrassment, a fist of laughter, a fist of pain. Her eyes widened as she felt a fierce impact in her stomach, her legs stumbled backwards but she managed to keep her balance.
            Laughter.
Bully2 days ago in Emotional

The Girl That Sings In Spanish My hands were furnished with the carcass of a dated wooden pencil. What sat atop it was nothing but a stub, now. On my desk lay before me a lined canvas, a chocolate chip cookie, and an army of dimly lit unscented candles. The moon shined against the four huge windows looming behind me. A soft purr from my feline companion was my only background noise. The room was chilly, but I kept warm by casing my body in a blanket.
My interest seemed to pace itself about the room. The books I owned weren’t resting properly on the bookshelf beside me. They sat in a particular fashion, with the covers facing outward so that I had the pleasure oThe Girl That Sings In Spanish2 days ago in Emotional

Oklahoma Tornado and other AreasOklahoma Tornado and other Areas Effected
HOPING ALL OUR FRIENDS ON DEVIANT ART GET BACK TO NORMAL WEATHER SOON.
WE ARE THINKING ABOUT UYO ALL AND BE ASSURED WISHING ALL BEST
Love
Johanna, George and Family
xxxx

Also to uyor friends Nik,Gran and Pets and Neighbours in Kansas who also get bad weather
xxxxOklahoma Tornado and other Areas3 days ago in Emotional

I'm an asshole!I have given some advice out on here and I like to think it is pretty sound advice. But here's the thing folks. In real life, I am a LOT of different, BAD things. I'm a loser first and foremost. I'm 27 years old and I've NEVER had ONE SINGLE girlfriend, but that' probably because I'm an asshole/loner. I only have ONE friend but she's already married and living in another state. Plus I haven't talked to her in 17 or 18 years. So essentially I don't even have any friends either. Do yourselves a favor, don't take my advice to heart. I'm just a scumbag/asshole/loser ranting on the internet. I make it a point not to befriend people on the internetI'm an asshole!7 hours ago in Emotional

Poetic RantingThat which ignites my passion so, that which I have spent countless hours perfecting the skill of, I have neglected on the pretenses of having some voice than my own command my heart to flow forth its secret and poetic song. I have none to blame for my shortcomings than my faulty priorities, which proclaim that which is declared worthwhile if for naught, while that which society deems frivolous is of my choosing to be my sole intention of life. Deception has been my answer until this point, spouting forth falsities as a fountain, forever drowning my heart in black sin. My talents mean nothing if not recognized by those who determine my fate, Poetic Ranting18 hours ago in Emotional

Hands It was like any other person’s hand. It had four fingers and a thumb, it had the life line, the love line, and every other line that could apparently tell who you were going to marry and how many children you were going to have and what breakfast cereal you were going to eat for the rest of your life. It had been the hand that wrote page-long essays, and strummed strings and pressed keys to play bad music; it had been shook by heroes, and burnt by hair straighteners, and washed a million times over. It typed pointless messages and sent them off to the world, it wrote meaningful letters and threw them away, and sometimes it wrote down sHands22 hours ago in Emotional

Love LetterAnd you may never know it, but all my hope lies in you…
And no matter what you think of yourself, I think you’re always beautiful…
If you’d let me in, I’d never hesitate to pick you back up.
But I’m too afraid to speak my mind when you’re there…
I’m envious of the moon that gets to shine in through your window,
And the sun that gets to wake your sleepy figure in the morning.
I wish I could be the cup of coffee that greets your lips when you’re tired.
And if I could be with you, I’d never let you down.
I’d mend every cut, I’d listen to every problem, I’d shLove Letter1 day ago in Emotional

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