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Humor

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"Now, hold still already!"   
The impatient young nurse Sakura La Croix was getting tired of her patient from mocing around so much. Keeran, although a fierce ninja, was a bit nervous by the needle that was about to be stuck in his arm. He spend his days meditating under waterfalls in nothing but his polka-dotted knickers, and his night dodging swords and kunai, and he was afraid of a little needle?   
"Jeez, Keeran, you're so wierd!"   
"I can't help it! It's just the that a beautiful young lady is being forced to do something so cruel to somebody like me! Oh, I am sooooo unfortunate!"   
"Oh, shut up!
Haruhi  Snake: Otacon, there's another kid with wings but this one has purple hair...is this another angel?  Otacon: Oh! You muct be fighting Haruhi!  
Snake: So her name's Haruhi. She seems so innocent and to weak to be here.  Otacon: Snake, don't underestimate you oponents! She's lutenient of Palutena's army.  
Snake: So she works with ArmPit huh?  Otacon: Uh Snake, I wouldn't call him that and Yes they've been best friends ever since they were small.  
Snake: What's with the fishing hook at the end of her sword?  Otacon: Good eye! But that's not a fishing hook. That's a specialty. If you get hooked o
while everyone was running from the "Closet of Fornication" (No fun intended XDDDD) Null ran riiiight into a Grand Theft Auto IV Stand up poster.   
Null: Hi Niko!!!!  *stand up poster falls over on Null*  Null: AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! *crash*  Jonas: LOL Null you de-tard!  kitten: X3  Fox weren't we running from something?  Null: IDK but Niko is heavy get him off!!!  Jonas: nah maybe later  Null: *lifts the poster off of him*  
Jonas: that reminds me, hey kitten wanna go play Rainbow 6 Vegas 2 or Grand Theft Auto IV with me?  kitten: ummmm...Rainbow 6 Vegas 2, Jonas  Jonas: cool le
Sugar  Zacky Vengeance x Synyster Gates x M. Shadows   
 
Zacky and Brian snuggled up close to each other in their boyfriend’s bed. The chubby boy, Zack, woke up slowly to the racket coming up the stairs, a bad vocal impression of a drum and guitar solo, with some words thrown around here and there.  
 
“Bri, Brian… Brian!” Zacky’s voice rose out of a whisper, “Brian, what the fuck is that? Is Jimmy drunk again?”  “Probably,” Brian groaned, turned away from his boyfriend and pulled the zebra-print comforter over his head, “Go back to sleep.”  “
O strap-on, strap-on, wherefore art thou strap-on? Deny thy price, and refuse thy age restriction. Or if thou wilt not, to fair eBay, and I'll no longer be a virgin...'Tis but thy age limit that is my enemy, thou art thyself, though, not an Adult. What is Adult? It is nor ass, nor penis, nor mouth nor tongue, nor any other part belonging to a man. O have some other price. What's in an age? That which we call an adult by any other age would be as shit-filled; so strap-on would, were he not 'for adults' called, retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title. Strap-on doff thy age limit, and for that age which is no important part
Two full moons later (Shujiman continuously complained of an ‘unknown and obscure vision obstruction’ over Miss Candle’s unrestrained screams of terror and “Give me the wheel you fat, foolish fox!” after his Shujimask slid down over his eyes), the heroic duo finally arrived at the heart of Megalopolis Onion X District, and it was all Shujiman could do to keep from gasping in horror as he finally lifted the mask from his face.  
 “Booming bloody blunderbuss of bologna…” he murmured, eyes growing wide at the sight before him. A strange, sparkling and iridescent substance coated the entirety of t
  Problem Solved    
 
An evil laugh escaped from the tallies lips, as they spied on Elfy working diligently at her laptop. It was a hot day, and she was sitting outside, under the shade of a large oak. She whipped at her forehead, and stood up, setting the laptop safely on the grass. Elfy skipped over to a small roadside cart, selling ice cream. "One ice cream please." she asked. The tallies spied their chance and rushed over to her laptop, quickly inserting a disk encrypted with viruses. They loaded it quickly, and pulled it out, running away swiftly.  
 
By the time Elfy returned with her chibi-sized ice cream
The night awakens me, as I look out my window. The wind is stirring around the trees like childrens screams. I stare at the clock, its 3AM. I have a eerie feeling inside. The trees lightly tap on my window, and I shake. I turn over, and pull the covers over my head. I can only see through the sheet. My vision is cloudy, but I can make out the silhoutes. I see something move in the corner of my eye, and I control my head so it doesnt jerk off trying to identify the sorce of the movement. I slowly turn my head over. Then I see a shadow on the window seal. I try not to scream, just hold as still as a bunny being threatened by a cat. I strain my
The Fettuccini that never could be the cheesiest (as Chester the Cheetah for Cheetos always says)   
Warning: this story contains violence, Italian profanity, and inappropriately named people.   
By Meghan (yogurtisgooddude)  Edited by "Tiger" (pudgefan7)   
 
Once upon a time, there was a very lonely noodle named Alfredo Fettuccini. He went to the most advanced, sophisticated school in the whole town of Wisconsin. This school was called the Three Cheese School. All Alfredo wanted to do was fit in, but alas, he didn’t have enough cheese sauce to fit in with all the other pastas.  
 
The o
CAGED – After Story   
PART 1 – Shiami’s Return   
--   
Three Weeks   
Sakura petals fell slowly, scattering on the ground, surrounding a pair of black heels. The owner of the heels sighed as a bus pulled out.  
 
“I can’t believe this…” Shiami smiled, looking down at an invitation. For the fifth time in a row, she read it aloud:  
 
Miss. Shiami Mishiyama   
You are, here-by, cordially invited to the wedding of Naio Shirayuki and Amy Landon.  
Date: Saturday, May 10 2010  Time: 12:00 PM  Location: Lot # 5 (Next to Kuroi Ka
Why Sansuiri should never overdose…   
It was a lovely Thursday afternoon and Sansuiri Kamizuru was currently getting high off of his special supply of plasma pills. He was staring into the sky with a dreamy look on his face. A few feet away from him stood a brunette and a black haired girl.   
 
“Should we tell him to stop?” the brunette asked cautiously. There was always trouble when he got like this, especially since last time when he ended up in a bar. Both girls remembered that well, they had it recorded somewhere. Now they just had to post it on Youtube.  
 
 
“Nah, he’ll
AmayaTheVamp says: *screams and falls back, shielding eyes from Diego’s utter stalker/ugly –ness*  MonsterOfBlood says: Oh /come on/! You’re not still mad at me for the camping incident? *evil smile* I bet you actually liked that…  AmayaTheVamp says: OMG!! YOU FRICKING SICKO!!!!  MonsterOfBlood says: You still didn’t deny it. *satisfied grin* 8D  *Daren1800 has sent you a nudge*  Daren1800 says: Amaya? You still on?  AmayaTheVamp says: *cringes* Diego is a perverted stalker.  Daren1800 says: You /just/ noticed that?  AmayaTheVamp says: : P  Daren1800: g2g, bite ya l8er! &nb
“Go ahead, Jetty won’t mind.”  
“But-“  “Naw, kitten seriously, it’s all good.”  “Well if you say so,”  
“FISH, don’t you dare!”  
“But…Twostroke, Krill said I could.” The small tan and brown colored cat whined his ears lowering as he froze in place. Twostroke snorted and glanced over at the much larger dark furred cat. She knew there was a hint of a smirk hidden in the blank gaze she received in return.  “I’m sure and I bet that if he told you to jump off a bridge you’d do that too?” She snapped. Fish cut off his
Chapter Zero: Dawn’s Flashback   
I called Ray and Geline for breakfast. Glancing at both of them, I realized, though Ray looked like us, he still looked as if we weren’t there. Compared to Geline, who is always happy, you wouldn’t think they’re related at all.   
Geline stood up and fixed her uniform, saying “we’re going mom!”  Ray bowed and said his good bye.  
 
I sighed. I am their mother, Dawn. I always dreamed to have this kind of life. This life I had might be boring at times, but I prefer it than being stuck in a sorrowful slavery under the owners of this island. &n
PROLOGUE  BLACK SCREEN:   
The names of the credited writers fade in and out of the SCREEN in turn. Ethnic music plays in the background.   
FADE TO:   
INT. DARK ROOM   
Three middle-eastern men sit huddled around a small table in a darkly lit room. They discuss something in a foreign language. Subtitles shed light on what they are talking about.   
TERRORIST 1  The pieces have finally come into place. Soon we will deploy ”the weapon”, and then the oppressors will finally be destroyed.   
TERRORIST 2  Yes, very soon…   
A door is kicked open a
EPISODE 4  MEETING WITH TAILS AND SHADOW   
Super Sonic lands in Soleanna to find Tails and Shadow the Hedgehog waiting for him.   
 
Shadow: You're back sooner than I expected.   
Tails: Sonic! Did you take care of Fleetway?   
Super Sonic: Yeah. He's sealed in the Master Emerald. And I can sense that he's free in this timeline.   
Tails: I couldn't stop him. But I tricked him into thinking that Shadow was on the ARK.   
Super Sonic: Bad move, Tails... That's where I hid the Scepter of Darkness after I found it laying around in Soleanna.   
Shadow: I also used it
EPISODE 5: MEPHILES RELEASED   
Later, Super Sonic lands on the entrance ramp to the Space Colony ARK.   
 
Super Sonic: Looks like I just made it. I can sense Fleetway in the core already, and I can still feel Mephiles' power inside the Scepter of Darkness. If I supress my energy and use my Chaos Control technique to warp myself to the core, I might be able to stop Fleetway once and for all!   
 
Meanwhile, in the core of the colony, Fleetway holds the Scepter of Darkness in one hand and a Chaos Emerald in the other.   
 
Fleetway Super Sonic: Sonic is here. He's too late anyway. I've tr
It was a day that would forever go down in history as Mandolin Tuesday. Jackson Spaghetti, he of the unfortunate name, had just lost another in a long line of women. Before they had a chance to form a firing squad in his head and destroy his self-esteem the aforementioned, and undoubtedly already notorious, mandolin was produced. Strings tuned as amplifier valves warmed to inferno temperatures.   
Sheila McGovern, grand high wizardess of illuminati secrets, was watching Judge Judy on television when the first notes rang out. The first aching, medieval notes like the opening bombardments of the first great war. The first song was 
Jamie woke suddenly. She looked around at her surroundings, which were currently blurred due to the after-effects of being knocked out. Justin was beside her, she had just noticed, and they were in the back of a luxurious, leather-seated car, driving down the wealthy part of town towards Port Credit.  
 
"Oh, man...Justin, how'd we get here?" She asked, utterly bewildered.   
Justin shrugged. "I have no idea. I don't know where we're going, either..." He checked his watch. "It's 9 AM, though..damn, it's way too early to be awake."   
Jamie nodded. She squinted her eyes as she peered out of the shaded windows at t
I like to think I’m a crafty person.  But sometimes my craftiness gets the best of me – or it takes me places I don’t want to go – or it thrusts me into hand-to-hand combat with household items…vicious household items.   
 I have this friend you see, that is really into pirates – a friend, yes, a friend that is not me.  So this friend – and by friend I mean not me – really digs the pirates and thinks it would be super-awesome to  have a shirt declaring just how piratey I…I mean SHE – is.  So me, being the spectacular friend that I am, deci
Kedves Naplóm!   
Ma írok először, ugyanis eddig soha nem volt időm!  A matek lenyómat kellett írnom. (Egyébként most is azt csinálom.) Nagyon  
nehéz feladatok! Az a szemét csak annyit adott, hogy nyolc centi! (Mit kezdjek  
én nyolc centivel!? Nyolc centit én észre se szoktam venni! Tizennyolc alá néha  
lemegyek, de csak akkor, ha jó segge van, vagy ha jóképű!!)  De térjünk vissza a matekra! A tanárom egy állat! Ilyen feladatokat ad fel, hogy  
nyolc centi. (Meg valami szab
                                   This RANDOM Conversation with Alice.                                                                    &
Kedves Naplóm!   
 Bocs, hogy eddig nem írtam, de nem találtalak meg sehol. Aztán így éveleje  
felé Októberben, gondoltam előveszem kicsit a matek füzetem, és tanulok egy  
kicsit, és amikor unalmamban arra gondoltam hátralapozom, és kezdek egy másik  
naplót... Hát láss csodát!: Éppen ott találom régi szeretett naplómat, amit már  
ismerek!  
  Képzeld mi történt velem a nyáron! Először is: nem csináltam semmit,  
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