Browsing Humor on deviantART

Found 19 relevant deviations

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LampI could not think of
Anything to write a poem about.
Even though it could have been about
Anything.

So I plopped down in my living room
And stared at
A lamp.
It stared back at me.

And it didn't turn on
Or mow the lawn
And it didn't play cards
Or give any regard
And it didn't fly away
To a better day
Or get the girl
With a ring or pearl
And it didn't save the town
Or win the crown
If it was to cheat,
It wasn't discreet
Didn't scream and shout
Or even ask what the fuss is all about
It didn't cuss
Or take the bus
It didn't ask the lord
Why I looked so bored
Or even complain
About all the rain
When I left for awhile
Lamp10 months ago in Free Verse

Safe and SnugLet the wind and rain come,
Let them lash me with watery bullets
and bands of cloying, pressing air.

Let the thunder roar and lightning crash,
Let the hail and snow seek me out
and do their utmost to end me.

For I'm safe and snug in here,
Hiding in my little nuclear bunker,
A place of safety without fear,
Well, unless you're claustrophobic of course...Safe and Snug4 years ago in Free Verse

InCaseOfWeather...I walk my bumbershoot
like a cane
and beat
the rush

a fine weapon
'gainst a wetting
or falling rocketsInCaseOfWeather...2 years ago in Free Verse

InspirationPoetry
The flow of words
From mouth to page
Floodgates wide
Open
Poetry
A lightning strike
Never in the same place
Twice
Poetry
The bursting top
Of a mountain
Spewing forth boiling
Words
Poetry
The typhoon’s raging winds
Rain and hail falling
From a clear blue
Sky
Poetry
An avalanche of syllables
Cascading down the mountain
With booming thunderous
Noise
Poetry
The cold fire and
Gentle feathered brush
Against the mind
That leaves your senses
Tingling

PoetryInspiration4 years ago in Free Verse

The Lightning Has Come

First we Run from the Sun,
Now the lightning has come.
It strikes the water,
And the ocean waves roar.
The people will falter,
Mother Nature breaks down our door

Beware of the day,
It is coming, I swear
When we will all pay
For polluting Mother Nature's lair. The Lightning Has Come1 year ago in Free Verse

_+Chronicles of ShakesPEAR+_(curtain draws to reveal NARRATOR standing center stage)

ACT 1: THY NAME IS SHAKES-PEAR

Narr: Shakespeare was an amazing poet and playwright. He wrote many beautiful works that went down in history as some of the best pieces of their time, some of the best ever written. Some speculate on his genius, some embrace it, some do not, but everyone has, at some point, heard the name William Shakespeare, the mustachioed maverick of playwriting.

(NARRATOR pauses for dramatic effect, then continues)

Narr: But tonight, I am not here to tell you the story of the marvelous ingenuity and obvious overflowing talent of the Bard. No, I am here to tell you_+Chronicles of ShakesPEAR+_5 years ago in Free Verse

If it had a face.

If it had a face...

I'd punch it.If it had a face.2 years ago in Free Verse

I entice the lightning's strike:
The metal prongs on my tin hat glisten.
Thunder reverberates through the stale air,
I am well prepared.

With grace, and tenderness, a tornado forms.
A flying object eludes my eye:
Alien spacecraft, or airborne cattle?

A flash of energy shoots from earth to heaven.
I am the transistor.Lightning9 years ago in Free Verse

LightningLightning

an ephemeral flash
turns nighttime into day.
Then,
before the customary twelve hours have elapsed,
it is dark again.
It is so beautiful
that it can distract your computer,
making it forget that 10-page research paper
that you did not save even once.Lightning6 years ago in Free Verse

lightning bladeLightning blade to your head
If it hits you'll end up dead.
I pray you fall down to the floor
'cos i cant take your 'believe it's' anymore!lightning blade4 years ago in Free Verse

Energized.Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

He keeps on going
With a thump on his drum
Disturbing the peace
Eating every carrot crumb

A hunter shouts at him
"turn down that damn racket now!"
But he keeps going
And all of a sudden, POW!

Struck by lightning
A bunny still at large
His Name is the energizer
And he faces battery chargeEnergized.5 years ago in Free Verse

Miss Brittany C.Miss Brittany C.
always on the scene
who always has to say
something epic on Facebook every single day

Miss Brittany C.
can take a picture of a tree
and make it look cool
She'll always end up making another photographer look like a fool

Miss Brittany C.
is very neat
She's a really great friend
and she'll always stay fabulous until the very endMiss Brittany C.2 years ago in Free Verse

Fortune CookieFortune Cookie
If I had a fortune cookie
What would the fortune say?
Give up now
It’s not going to happen
Go eat your cookie and thank god your 15
Nah, not really
But I bet it’s something similar
The ridiculous ‘love life and you will succeed’
is not relevant in my case
How can I love life if I can’t see what’s coming next?
If she had a fortune cookie
What would the fortune say?
Your life is perfect
There’s only one thing in your way
Of course it would be put in a more dramatic form
But that’s the translation
Hansha
Flower
Kowai
Cute
Missing components in my fortunes from fortune coFortune Cookie6 years ago in Free Verse

My LifeIf lightning strikes me
will I be at long last free
or will that be the end of me?My Life7 years ago in Free Verse

The Best Antidote Is NothingFlirting is the best medicine
For when you’re down and want
To slip yourself some of Mama’s
“Happy Mom Time” pills.

You just spruce yourself up
And smile real wide and pronounce
All your words until the boyfriend
Punches you in the face.

Flirting is the best medicine
For when you don’t want people
To see you cry like a baby- “ha!
Sorry, tears trigger my giggle.”

…
Violence is the best medicine
For any affliction you can think of.
Grab a victim by the front of shirt,
just make a fist,
Pull you arm back,
And deliver package into face.

If at first he does not bleed,
Punch-punch again.
The Best Antidote Is Nothing4 years ago in Free Verse

The New PowerPressing the button on top.
The screen shows
A bleak battery
And a lightning bolt
Helpless
Oh, why have I used it so?

Out of my bag
I take out a power bank
And I connected it to my device.

The screen came alive
And my power bank
Ran out of resources,
Forcing it to shut down,
Losing the savings of all clients

The screen went dead some time later
But in that time, I made my call.
Oh why are we restricted
By the realistic limits of power?

*looks at old Nokia*

Never mind....The New Power1 year ago in Free Verse

Funny Cleavage PoemBeaver cleavage is unnatural
but strangely turns me on
when I see those booby cracks
it makes me want some fun
beaver cleavage real or fake
I don't really care
but when I see it close to me it makes me want to stare.....

and maybe masturbate....Funny Cleavage Poem6 years ago in Free Verse

Oluf the fishy..."Once I had a fishy. His name was Oluf; Oluf the thinker..."

The idea came
F A S T
H A R D
C R E E P Y
S U D D E N L Y
-fishy?

Fishy. It tastes funny,
It's like honey drops on water.
They won't mix, they're pure.
Fishy.
So strange,
yet new, fresh.

Fishy.

Are you there?
Watching, lurking?
thinking...
forming a plan? An idea..?

D E A D L Y
-oluf?
L U R K I N G
-fishy?
M A S T E R I N G
F I N D I NG
His plan.

Dead
My little Oluf.
dead... like a fish

You thought to much.
You hatched a plan.
Lightning strikes.
Boiling
A fishy
So pure
yet:
so dead.

My little OlOluf the fishy...8 years ago in Free Verse

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