Browsing Humor on deviantART

Found 56 relevant deviations

[x]

Antonio -Song Parody-

Antonio
Parody of "Alejandro"
Original Song by Lady Gaga
Parody Lyrics by KimYoshiko

-----

Lyrics:

[Spoken]  "I know that we are young, and I know that you brought tomatoes to Italy, but I just can't be with you like this anymore, Antonio."

He's got both hands on his deck brush
And he won't look at you, won't look at you
He hides true love, 'cause he's tsundere
He's got a hair curl 'round his finger, around you

You know that I love you, boy
Hot like Spanish sun, rejoice
At this point I've got to choose
Nothing to lose

    * Don't call my name, don't call my name
    Antonio
&#Antonio -Song Parody-2 years ago in Songs & Lyrics

I'd RatherI would rather

Shave my armpits with a brick
Clean my ears out with a dick
Use barbwire without a doubt
And floss till all my teeth fall out
Wipe my shining pristine ass
On a gravely glass-strewn plane tarmac
Turn my titties inside out
And pickle them in sauerkraut
Garnish that with pubic hair
Plucked from a horse's derrière
Eat it à la mode with knives
Wash it down with a glass of lye
Stand in for a pink piñata
Rinse my eyes with Piña colada
Drink a bucket's worth of sand
And pull my hairs out all by hand
Taking days to finish the task
Until I'm bald from head to ass
Until I'm bald from ass to toe
So dI'd Rather2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms

The Ultimate ShowdownWell, Freddy Krueger was hopping around
On Elm Street like a big playground
When suddenly Pinhead burst from the shade
and then hit Freddy with a Pingrenade
Freddy got pissed and began to seethe
but didn't expect to be stalked by Scream
who proceeded to open up a can of Scream Fu
When Michael Myers came out of the blue

And he started beating up old Frederick
Then they both got flattened by the Loomis mobile
but before it could make it back to the back cave
Jason Voorhees popped out of his grave
and took an AK-47 out from under his mask
and blew Scream away with a rat-a-tat-tat
but he ran out of bullets and he ran away
because tThe Ultimate Showdown2 years ago in Songs & Lyrics

God's Poetic SurprisesJust when I think I'm down on my luck,
God hits me with lightning-bolt inspiration.
I switch to imaginative diarrhea
From having creative constipation.God's Poetic Surprises3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms

I'm BoredI am so bored
And so damn tired,
And all my coupons
Are expired
So what to do?
I yell out loud:
"BOOST, YOU DOPE,
YOU MUST BE PROUD
To waste my cash!
One by one!
While I'm asleep
Under the sun!
While I'm asleep
At the wheel!
Gawd, you fag,
Let's make a deal!
If you be nice
And give 'em back
(The coupons, that is)
You get to eat Mack."
Boost's jaw drops.
"OH MY GOD!
You'd do that for me?"
"Of course, you clod.
Now hurry up
And get the dosh,
Or else you get
Christine's Carwash!"
"Christine?!" he yelps.
"Her wash is BLOOD!
Not soapy water!
Not even mud!"
"Tough!" I sneer.
"Now hurry up!"
"All right," he squeaks,I'm Bored6 years ago in Ballad

Bleach Random stuff...((I put some of this on here yesterday...well I was GOING to. But my internet disconnected and I lost all of it. I was devastated. So...I'm going again from scratch...*dies*))

*Rukia and Renji have made cheese their codeword for "rape"*

Renji: Byakuya-nii-sama, can we have some cheese puffs?

Byakuya: . . . ?

Rukia: Yeah, and some cheese Wiz and some cheese crackers and some nacho cheese and some cheese burgers and some shredded cheese and some--

Byakuya: Are you two trying to get constipated?

--

Rangiku: You're mostly a twig.

Gin: A twig? How am I a twig?

Rangiku: Well...your eyes are skinny, your mouth is skinny, your nose is anorexBleach Random stuff...4 years ago in Songs & Lyrics

'Why You NO...!'Why you no fart
Why you no poop
Why es me laundry so dirty
Why do you smell
Tu es muy feo
Mi es un muchacho
Why you no speak Spanish
Why you no eat hamburgers
Why you no eat Burger King
Ow wait, me likey wendys
Why you drink
Koolaid
Vat is dis en mi koolaid
Why you no pretty
Why you no like
My art on the wall
Why do you get, un restraining order
Why you fart and poop on my lawn
Why you steal my MAIL!!
Why you look like avatar
Why you bald with arrow
Why you have flying bison
Why you talk funny
To sea turtles
Why you chips
With salt and vinegar
Why you hairy
Like mountain goat
Why you drink
Week old milk
Why you'Why You NO...!'1 year ago in Songs & Lyrics

LampI could not think of
Anything to write a poem about.
Even though it could have been about
Anything.

So I plopped down in my living room
And stared at
A lamp.
It stared back at me.

And it didn't turn on
Or mow the lawn
And it didn't play cards
Or give any regard
And it didn't fly away
To a better day
Or get the girl
With a ring or pearl
And it didn't save the town
Or win the crown
If it was to cheat,
It wasn't discreet
Didn't scream and shout
Or even ask what the fuss is all about
It didn't cuss
Or take the bus
It didn't ask the lord
Why I looked so bored
Or even complain
About all the rain
When I left for awhile
Lamp10 months ago in Free Verse

Paula Deen's Words of Wisdom!

*Jerked, spiced, shrimp
*She taught me how to shave my legs!
*Saddlin' up fr another kind of excitement!
*We were fixin' to head south where the sauce is sweeter...
*It coulda been that rub that got 'im all shook up!
*Who's gonna eat all this meat?
*I tasted the dry...I'm ready for the wet!
*The fact that the three of us were doin' it together for the first time is the best!
*There I am, just dangling
*I wanna get my money back!
*Moist and tender
*Get the club and knock 'em in the head!
*You know how I LOVE coconut...Paula Deen4 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word

First Class of the DayI'm greeted at the classroom door
With tired salutations,
As everyone sits and waits for the bell
To sleep through annotations.
And our pencils scribble on and on
Of many an impoverished nation,
While the textbooks try to wow us all
With many of man's creations.
A cuss word here, a yawn over there
Seems to be in correlation,
With the very important but mostly boring
Topic of conversation.
And when homework is due, it's very clear
Through the level of preparation,
That most of us resorted to
Prolonged procrastination.
The students who don't want to work
Argue real life relation,
The ones that take it a little too far
DisappeFirst Class of the Day10 months ago in Traditional Fixed Forms

                        Space
              Area, arena, bit, duration
           In space you die of asphyxiationSpace2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms

Safe and SnugLet the wind and rain come,
Let them lash me with watery bullets
and bands of cloying, pressing air.

Let the thunder roar and lightning crash,
Let the hail and snow seek me out
and do their utmost to end me.

For I'm safe and snug in here,
Hiding in my little nuclear bunker,
A place of safety without fear,
Well, unless you're claustrophobic of course...Safe and Snug4 years ago in Free Verse

InCaseOfWeather...I walk my bumbershoot
like a cane
and beat
the rush

a fine weapon
'gainst a wetting
or falling rocketsInCaseOfWeather...2 years ago in Free Verse

InspirationPoetry
The flow of words
From mouth to page
Floodgates wide
Open
Poetry
A lightning strike
Never in the same place
Twice
Poetry
The bursting top
Of a mountain
Spewing forth boiling
Words
Poetry
The typhoon’s raging winds
Rain and hail falling
From a clear blue
Sky
Poetry
An avalanche of syllables
Cascading down the mountain
With booming thunderous
Noise
Poetry
The cold fire and
Gentle feathered brush
Against the mind
That leaves your senses
Tingling

PoetryInspiration4 years ago in Free Verse

The Lightning Has Come

First we Run from the Sun,
Now the lightning has come.
It strikes the water,
And the ocean waves roar.
The people will falter,
Mother Nature breaks down our door

Beware of the day,
It is coming, I swear
When we will all pay
For polluting Mother Nature's lair. The Lightning Has Come1 year ago in Free Verse

Changing PolarityI was feeling negative one day
Then a thunderstorm hit late that night
AND MY POLARITY WUZ CHANGED!!!!!!

Chorus:
My polarity was changed
Along with everyone else

I said: Oh no! You're negatively charged you're all gonna die!
They said: Are you sure?
AND I SAID: IM POSITIVE!

My polarity was changed
Along with everyone else

(guitar solo)

Another storm hit again last night
And our polarity went back
So I'm negative again
And gonna die~

My polarity was changed
Along with everyone else (repeat twice)

(keyboard solo)Changing Polarity3 years ago in Songs & Lyrics

Character profile Tiny toons 1I cant say a lot about this tiny to so I’m putting them all in one character profile

Barky Marky:
Barky Marky (voiced by Frank Welker) is a young, brown and tan male dog. He is based on the Looney Tunes character Marc Antony. Barky Marky is portrayed as a typical canine who loves to play fetch as well as various other sports and activities.

Mary Melody:
Mary Melody (voiced by Cree Summer) is a young, female, African-American human. Her name is a parody of Merrie Melodies. As with the other human characters in the series, she attends Acme Looniversity. Melody has a sweet disposition and sometimes hangs out with Babs, Shirley and FifiCharacter profile Tiny toons 14 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word

If you knew what you do.Orbital dreams
flow through the air.
These dancing lights,
make me wish you were here.
Tucked inside my arms tonight.
I long
for your voice right now.
Because I cant stand to be this alone.
So Take me away tonight.
You are the guiding moon,
and my world is only you.
So take me away,
and let our fingers
begin to entwine.
and let this dance
make us forget this time. If you knew what you do.3 years ago in Songs & Lyrics

Disappearing IdeasHave you ever started a story, but have never finished?
Did your ideas suddenly diminish?
It's certainly happened to me before
I think so hard that my brain is sore

Nothing can be typed or written
I guess I have been smitten,
so I just sit here and write a poem to complain
After all, all of my ideas have been slain.

Hopefully they will come back soon,
and if they don't...
I'll certainly be doomed!Disappearing Ideas6 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word

_+Chronicles of ShakesPEAR+_(curtain draws to reveal NARRATOR standing center stage)

ACT 1: THY NAME IS SHAKES-PEAR

Narr: Shakespeare was an amazing poet and playwright. He wrote many beautiful works that went down in history as some of the best pieces of their time, some of the best ever written. Some speculate on his genius, some embrace it, some do not, but everyone has, at some point, heard the name William Shakespeare, the mustachioed maverick of playwriting.

(NARRATOR pauses for dramatic effect, then continues)

Narr: But tonight, I am not here to tell you the story of the marvelous ingenuity and obvious overflowing talent of the Bard. No, I am here to tell you_+Chronicles of ShakesPEAR+_5 years ago in Free Verse

The real Black Lightning[Black Lightning]
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Black Lightning please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Black lightning please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here..

Y'all act like you never seen a super villian before
Jaws all on the floor like I'm some damn dirty whore
I burst in your door and start whoopin your ass just like before
doin things that you just can't ignore(Ahh!)
I am the best of the best it's true I'm not kidding,
I've got an army of ninjas to do all of my bidding
and my wife Jade said...nothing you idiots!
Jade's dead, she's locked in my basement!
AllThe real Black Lightning7 years ago in Songs & Lyrics

If it had a face.

If it had a face...

I'd punch it.If it had a face.2 years ago in Free Verse

A storm's a'comingStorm

Gray clouds moving in
A storm about to begin
Raindrops pelt the ground
Dark spots all around
A flash of light
Cuts through the night
The world rumbles
The sky grumbles
More zigzagging white
Turns the sky bright
Then the boom of thunder
Breaks all wonder
The rain keeps falling
Those around forestalling
A feeling so frightening
A bolt of lightningA storm's a'coming5 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms

Show More