Church IncidentChurch Incident9 years ago in Humor More Like This
I was looking around the Church. I was sitting far back enough so that the most of the mass was lost in the high, painted ceiling, among the cherubs and the gold leafing. The people around me were looking for God. There was one man reciting Hail Mary's, one after the other, not listening to the words he was saying. One woman was sitting there, weeping quietly. One or two were asleep.
They would never find God. There was only one way to find God, I knew, and that was to be looking for him out of the corner of your eye…
"Aha!" I yelled, standing up, turning around and pointing… Pointing at a man with a dirty mop in hand, and an overbit
churchlord you spun me outchurch5 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
of morning rays and mexican
china, out of paper elephants
and camomile flowers. you took
and ears away from a deaf
mute and gave them to me
so i could hear the others
say speak the word of jesus
wide-eyed like children, so that
i could say my name is emily,
my name is emily but i can't
lord you gave me green
whisky when all i needed
was a glass of water in
the middle of the
night and arms instead
of a parting knife.
you wrote me a poem and
put it inside me and
the words smelled like sex
and tea leaves, carrot-flowers that
will emerge from the dirt
Church of ThoughtI want to build a libraryChurch of Thought2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And shelve it with every book ever burned.
I want to build a library
And invite in all the pastors and preachers and woebegone popes-
Send them wandering through the breathing books,
Willingly lost in the dust motes and the cinnamon paper and the quiet conversation of
Wilde and Shakespeare and Darwin and Plato.
I want to build a library
For all the puppets and their strings.
And there, in that long-awaited Church of Thought
Let them decide
Who the real gods are.
goddamn homosexualMy mom took a trip to Mexicogoddamn homosexual2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And stopped by a church to attend mass.
It was quaint, small and brightly colored,
So she went inside.
(She is Catholic and I am not.)
She knows Spanish, is practically fluent in it.
She knew, sitting in her pew, what the priest was saying
About those goddamn homosexuals
And their sin,
And how even the flames of hell
Were too good for them.
That there would be no tolerance from The Heavenly Father
Of their kind.
I had just come out to my mom less than a month before
"Yes I like girls."
My hands had been shaking and my throat was tight,
Like my heart was stuck in it.
For a moment I wanted not
A ChurchA ChurchA Church2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Erect a Church inside your heart,
and be sure to build it well.
Lay a strong foundation,
use time as your donation,
and make love your salutation.
Make good works your devotion,
and set another in motion
to build a Church of his own.
Keep quiet in your Holy Temple
and respect it with a zealot's fervor,
always seeking to go no further
than what necessity allows.
Do not decorate it with gaudy banners
but ornament it with good manners.
Should the interior become besmirched
restore it, with humility,
to its proper worth.
The building may take a while
and our plans change--all too true.
But those who build
Dad, Daddy, what does faggot mean?"Dad, Daddy, what does 'faggot' mean?"Dad, Daddy, what does faggot mean?11 months ago in Emotional More Like This
It was an innocent question. I didn't mean to make you cry. I still remember how you reacted, even though it was years ago; Seb, you covered your mouth for a moment, then hugged me tight and said "Oh, baby girl. You'll understand when you're older." Chris, you wiped away tears and excused yourself from the room.
I was so confused then; what had made my fathers cry? Nothing made my Dads cry. You laughed and joked around and sometimes got angry, but never cried. I was attached to you by then; you weren't the strangers who'd taken me in. You were Mom and Dad. I just wanted to know what the word I'd heard
Church She has never orgasmed because every man who has touched her never meant a thing. And she has panic attacks because she never wants anyone to be inside her again or try to love her again because something is broken, impossible to mend.Church1 year ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
The holy water is never in her reach when she needs it.
She fills her lungs with smoke as if to suffocate, to smother her brain so she doesn't have to exist. She confesses her sins to paper because she's afraid of priests and judgment and reconciliation.
Since everything ended the sign of the cross is more intimidating than swallowing the pills. She hasn't been on a proper diet, hasn't had the bread or t
The 10 Commandments of Yaoism1. Thou shalt make yaoi a priority in all actions.The 10 Commandments of Yaoism8 years ago in Philosophical More Like This
2. Thou shalt sneer at Conservative Religious Bastards.
3. Thou shalt honour and cherish homosexuals and Asians above all.
4. Thou shalt draw yaoi without restraint.
5. Thou shalt participate in Gay Pride Parades whenever possible.
6. Thou shalt seduce altar boys.
7. Thou shalt pray against George Bush at sunrise and sunset each day.
8. Thou shalt make comments laced with sexual perversion whenever possible.
9. Thou shalt encourage your homosexual friends to "hook up so I can take a picture."
10. Thou shalt share pornographic sites' passwords with everyone.
Oh, and yeah. Don't steal
15 ways to annoy Church15 ways to annoy Church15 ways to annoy Church4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Disclaimer: I would suggest you invest in bullet proof vest before trying any of this, but Church is such a bad shot hed probably miss anyway
1. Get him to read the twilight series by Stephanie Myer, then tell him Caboose has imprinted on him
2. Clone Caboose about a hundred times and let them loose. Video the results
3. When hes carrying the nice long sniper rife, tell him hes not fooling anyone and hes obviously overcompensating for something.
4. When he protests tell him thats not what Tex said. Imply it might be the reason she was always cheating on him
5. Ask him wh
Caboose's Best LinesCabooses' QuotesCaboose's Best Lines7 years ago in General Non-Fiction More Like This
"I'm never gonna get married. My father always said: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
"Mr Church? Sir? Sorry about calling your girl a slut."
"That guy Tex is really a robot... and you're his boyfriend! So that makes you... a gay robot."
"Don't ever. Be. Alone."
"Goodbye Major Cinnamin bun! I will always remember your buttery goodness!"
"Shiela! Come back to me! I made you a muffin!"
"My name is Michael J. Caboose, and I. Hate. Babies!"
"Your toast has been burnt, and no amount of scraping will remove the black part."
"I will eat your unhappiness!"
"What was it? A helicopter?"
The ChurchSociety: "I have questions?"The Church10 months ago in Short Stories More Like This
The SadistThe Sadist:The Sadist1 year ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I love it most when they scream in pain;
Cliched as that might sound.
Their tearful pleading exhilarates me;
Especially when they are unbound...
I adore the feeling of letting them run
In the knowledge that they won't get away.
I'm afraid that once you enter my lair;
You are simply here to stay...
My greatest joy is in wresting confessions
For in pain they admit to any crime.
How many times have they renounced their devils
Squealing all the time...
A white hot poker, can work such wonders
The tightest of tongues will turn to slack.
I like to hold it against their flesh;
Until it blisters, chars and goes utterly bla
Wolf ChurchWolf ChurchWolf Church3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Bless me Father for I have sinned
That's how they all start as they begin. Bless me Father for I have sinned but who? Which Father are we talking to as we blurt out every last detail of the wrongs we have committed? Who is really on the other side of the screen?
All through my years of Catholic schooling, they took me in to the Cathedral, a huge stone citadel of silence and holy calm. A shiver of warmth tickled my skin and shot up my spine each time I entered, a feeling of awe replacing whatever I was feeling before.
But now, I fidgeted impatiently in the line, shifting from one foot to the other, leaning against th
The Underground Church"We of the Underground Church have no cathedrals. But is any cathedral more beautiful than the sky of heaven to which we looked when we gathered secretly in forests? The chirping of the birds took the place of the organ. The fragrance of the flowers was our incense. And the shabby suit of a martyr recently freed from prison was much more impressive than priestly robes. We had the moon and stars as candles. The angels were our acolytes who lit them."The Underground Church1 year ago in Philosophical More Like This
taken from TORTURED FOR CHRIST by Richard Wurmbrand
O righteous Father, the world hath not known thee, but I have known thee, and these have known that thou hast sent me. And I have declared unt
Sophie is JewishSophie is sixSophie is Jewish6 years ago in Philosophical More Like This
"Why don't you go to Hebrew school with me?"
"Because Sophie, I'm Christian. My school has a different name."
"Oh.. Do you have Shabbat?"
"In a way, we just call it something else."
"Do you get to stay up late on Shabbat?"
"Erm.. I suppose you could say that."
"Do you have to read the Torah?"
"Yup, it just has a different name."
"Do you pray before bed?"
"But you get Christmas right?"
"But I get Chanukah!"
"Actually, I get that too."
"Oh..." "Do learn about Elohim in your school?"
"Yeah, we just call him something else."
"Because your Chrisitan and I'm Jewish."
Why Most Christians Think Homosexuality is a SinIt's a warm summer evening in ancient Greece...Why Most Christians Think Homosexuality is a Sin7 months ago in Historical More Like This
No, scratch that. It's mid-May in Rome in the year 390, and you're a Roman emperor about to make one of the biggest mistakes in history: pass a law that would forbid gay marriage under penalty of death by burning at the stake. This document would permanently change the lives of millions of homosexual men and women over 1600 years into the future. From now on, they would be called "sodomites," "unnatural," "abominations," and all other derogatory words associated with homosexuals today.
What was life like before 390? Well for one, no one gave two craps about gay people. Sure some thought they w
Lilith makes me wonderLilith makes me wonder8 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
What if Adam just plain lied
with apple juice
Running down her chin
Just let it slide
Is the whole story a hoax
A different mother
Was Lilith really all that bad
She just wanted to be free
The desert is hard on Mustangs
And her man was not handy
Was Mary really a virgin
did Joseph just herd the sheep
Did Mary feel passion
her body eternally saved
Resident Evil: If You're HappyIf You're Happy and You Know it: Resident Evil Style!Resident Evil: If You're Happy7 years ago in Humor More Like This
If you're happy and you know it, blow shit up!
If you're happy and you know it, blow shit up!
If you're happy and you know it and you really wanna show it: If you're happy and you know it, blow shit up!
If you're happy and you know it, watch them burn!
If you're happy and you know it, watch them burn!
If you're happy and you know it and you really wanna show it: If you're happy and you know it, watch them burn!
If you're happy and you know it, just reload!
If you're happy and
Church MouthI am as advantageous as a wishing well,Church Mouth6 months ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
as stoic as a dream in Hell;
festered up with love and metal faces,
an aspiring child's hope and silver pieces,
but though they bar themselves from speaking secrets
I will always let them down.
My lost affection was chained to an angel disguised;
A prophet who fell from an open, hallowed sky
remaining upon the beach in throes with the swells,
her heart beating in time with those majestic bells,
and from out her lips, spinning stories, she tells
Long she stayed on the blazing, sand knolls
speaking sometimes in old, stone, cathedral tones,
and I asked her on what principle a