Another episode of owlet brain-vomiting ahead. You have been warned.
So. I have encountered quite a few things on the internet and in real life lately that have made me think about the issues of Feminism and Sexual Liberation even more than I usually do - and both issues are (with me being both a woman, and an appreciator and creator of erotica) rather close to my heart.
Feminism. Wonderful thing. Yes, really. At least it used to be until it was twisted into something hateful and ugly by two kinds of women (and by some men - but pointing fingers into that direction is a bit too easy). I'm talking about what I've taken to calling "Femininnies" and "Feminazis".
Let's do this alphabetically and deal with the "Feminazi" first. Believe me, I'm not using this word lightly - my national background being what it is. But I can't think of any other term that would fit this hateful creature.
The Feminazi calls herself a Feminist - but she is not. She doesn't believe in mutual respect between all sexes and genders, she doesn't want to create equality where none yet exists. The Feminazi is a supremacist. She believes that women are better than men; that men are in some way deficient and inferior. Now and again she will use a New Age religions like Wicca to legitimatise her views (I do absolutely not think that all Wiccan women are like that, though), or she will twist the works of early feminist writers to fit her purpose. The Feminazi doesn't fight inequality and injustice - she fights men. She doesn't want to solve problems to help her fellow women, she creates problems for us all.
In a way she is exactly like the Bible-thumping male supremacists she hates so much - and she either doesn't realise or doesn't care that she completely screws up things for those of us (who I believe are true Feminists), who want to genuinely make the world a better place for everyone.
Sadly the twisted views of the Feminazi have become synonymous for "Feminism" in the minds of many.
Now let's get to what I've come to call the "Femininny". She wants it both ways. She wants all the advantages of equality without any of the drawbacks. She wants all the perks and all the rights, but please without having to shoulder any of the actual work or responsibility. She wants to bee free and self-determined, but she still expects her man to completely take care of her.
Now please let me say this: All of us need help once in a while; and there is nothing wrong with a 50 kilo waif asking a 90 kilo muscle-bound neighbour to help her carry heavy stuff upstairs. My point is that the Femininny asks for help and protection even when she doesn't really need it. She knowingly and calculatingly exploits the good manners and the chivalry of the men around her. She constantly plays the "helpless female" card. They see male support as their prerogative, and not as what it is, a kindness.
Now is it any wonder that her antics lead to the rest of us, who actually try to solve their own problems, not being taken seriously? And how is a guy to know if he's faced with a woman who really needs help, or with a woman who just wants to use him? They say chivalry is dead - and this is the reason. Men are sick of their generosity being exploited - and rightly so.
The problem is that our culture (well, the media that dominate our culture) actually reinforce this kind of behaviour. The hapeless heroine and the knight in shining armour are still very much a thing. Not that there is anything wrong with that in principle, there is just something very wrong with it being as prevalent as it is.
Now the third point: Sexual Liberation. Oh dear gods above and wherever else, where to start.
Again, as with Feminism, it's a wonderful thing. The problem is that it's become a label that is being slapped on things that are clearly not beneficial to it. A comic book heroine having sex indiscriminately, spreading her legs for just about anyone (and forgetting about them immediately)? She's sexually liberated. Advertisements with beautiful women in very suggestive poses? Sexual liberation.
Why? Because it's always women. It's a new wave of objectifying us and exploiting our bodies masquerading as liberation. In the end it's all about satisfying male fantasies, and not our sexual needs and desires. If we choose not to have sex, if we choose not to show every inch of our skins (for whatever reason), if we don't spread our legs for just about anyone, we are not sexually liberated.
Yet, slut-shaming is still very much a thing - but there's something new now: I think we can call it "prude-shaming". It's the Madonna-Whore-Complex all over again. It creates an image of femininity that simply isn't possible in reality - but it's what society expects of us.
Conclusion: Feminism is being discredited. Rapidly. The control over our own sexuality is slipping from our fingers. Seems like we are about to lose what our grandmothers and great-grandmothers fought, bled, and died for.
A Feminist doesn't want to rule over men, she wants to live in harmony and equality with them. A sexually liberated woman doesn't spread her legs for anyone who wants her; she only does it for herself. And I think that we as artists should reflect on what we see and create.
What do you think? What are your experiences? Please let me know in the comments.