Sta.sh
maybe there's light at the end of the tunnel...
i was weak and hurt for a while. but i think i'm halfway crawled out of the hole. there are many more things i want to do and i decided not to quit now, where i have the chance to be the strongest i've ever been before.
so i signed up for weightlifting, pilates and kickboxing. i take regular trips to the library and read books. i take long baths. i light candles in my room and sit and think. i write poems in my head. i learned how to play pool sober (imagine that!). i found myself a new place to live. i go to see a therapist regularly - and lie to her only occasionally. i'm really getting better at being honest with myself and others. i stand up for myself where necessary, but overall i think i've mellowed. i go tanning and as the uv-rays penetrate my fragile skin -- i enjoy it -- and i refuse to think of cancer or aids or any of the horrible deadly things that could can or already did happen to me. i'm gonna grow my hair out again. i love myself and my body and the life i live. much more than ever before. i make a conscious effort of being by myself sometimes. i pray. i've been sober for quite sometime. there has been only one night of weakness, where i decided to get drunk off my ass amid the 11 weeks of complete sobriety.
although there's men in my life... i'm not satisfied yet. i want to find love again. it's been a while. a few years i think. or maybe i've never really been in love, but had close proximities to love. i just wouldn't mind a touch -- after a long day of work when my shoulders ache and mind is sore -- i wouldn't mind a hug and a kiss and a tuck-in. or maybe i just miss home. i'm not sure.
| Deviant Login | Shop | Join deviantART for FREE  |
Take the Tour  |
. It deserves all the hype (unlike Twilight, which prevailed only because of the "hot" actors, and the stupid little 12-year-olds who went to see it 20 times in theathers). But yah...I LOVED it...it was like being in another world. GO SEE IT. 
Tired 
Lazy 
. Thanks everyone for appreciating my art.
Add Media
Style