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American Stereotypes..

"Does everyone in america have a gun?"

Alfred F. Jones: also known as America, turned to see his friend (your name), surfing the internet, a keen look in her eyes as she scanned each word on the depicted site she was on.

"Whaa-dude what you readin'?" Alfred just chuckled, hoping she would ignore not getting an answer.

Well that sure wasn't gunna happen.

"Does everyone in america have a gun?" she asked again, earing only a yawn and a stretch from Alfred.

"No (your name), not EVERYONE in america has a gun."

"Okay.." she mumbled, and continued to search on the same sight. A few moments later, while Alfred was chowing down on a tastelyAmerican Stereotypes..6 months ago in Humor

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Taking care of your America HetaloidThank you for ordering from Hetaloid Corp. Here is a list of instructions for caring for your new America Hetaloid. With your new Hetaloid is a few things.
America Hetaloid comes with:
-one Military outfit
-one Bomber jacket
-an American flag
-One casual outfit
-A bag of McDonald's fast food
-An alien plush toy
-A gun
-A map of the United States
-a Limited warranty in case your Hetaloid were to break.
Taking care of your Hetaloid comes with great responsibility. following these guidlines are simple as 1,2,3. However, failure to follow these guidlines may result in destruction of your Hetaloid, a depressed Hetaloid, or a 2p! Hetaloid. (Warning: 2p! Hetaloids may cause destruction of your house, blood loss, heart attack, stroke, deep wounds, and fangasms.)
How to Activate your America Hetaloid

To activate your America Hetaloid, place a bag filled with McDonald's Hamburgers in front of a working fan. the aroma from the food will activate your America Hetaloid, makinTaking care of your America Hetaloid1 year ago in Humor

Love Potion1. Conflicting

"I love you Leaf! I love you with all my life!"

Leaf shut her ears tightly. Brown eyes stared at the young leader – who was standing on the roof of his gym.

"I love you with all my life!" Green yelled excitingly. Blastoise and Charizard slapped their faces as they stood behind Leaf. The three of them had the same thought: What has gotten into Green today?!

"The only girl I want to fuck is Leaf only!"

Leaf froze entirely. She gawked her hear upwards, eye round as plates.

"Ya hear that world?! My Leaf is the only girl who can have my-"

"S-shut up!" As Green was madly shouting, Leaf hopped onto her Charizard and the twLove Potion1 year ago in Humor

Papa!AmericaXShy!Child!Reader ~Request part 3~Young Americans~

"Aren't you just the cutest little thing?" Arthur cooed at the girl the turned quickly away from his view. "And what is your name?"

"(f/n)," she looked from the safety of her father's shirt. She had seen those eyebrows somewhere before, but she couldn't put her finger on it.

"That's a very pretty name!" Arthur grinned. "And what is your Mom's name?" The fact that Alfred had forgotten that information was weighting down on Arthur's mind. And he hoped that the girl could shed a bit of light on to the mystery. What is the worst answer she could give?

"Mary Kathleen Queensland," she smiled proudly that she coPapa!AmericaXShy!Child!Reader ~Request part 36 months ago in Humor

Russia Teh Prego SeahorseThe suspicion started on that one particular G-8 meeting when Russia ripped off England's glare arrows and ate them. It was only confirmed when he later ate an ending in the shape of sweet potato fries.

Russia was pregnant, though he didn't know why. He never allowed anyone to fuck him because he was the Fuc King, which was a much better title than Burger King. Little did he know, Tony's perverted French alien buddy had crawled up his ass while he was asleep and laid an egg in his gut. Since then, he had an unusual craving for fourth wall objects that was never satisfied no matter what he did.

Slowly but surely the Slavic giant was literallRussia Teh Prego Seahorse11 months ago in Humor

AmericaxReader Anesthetic Adventure“Hey Alfred?” you turned to the blonde man sitting on the other end of the couch.

“Yeah, dude?” He set his bright blue eyes on you. You had been friends with Alfred for the longest time, and you knew you could trust him with anything (excepting hamburgers), and thus came your request.

“Could you take me to the dentist? I have an appointment tomorrow and I get a little loopy when they give me anesthetics.”

“Of course! The Hero always saves the day!” He made a “da da dada!” sound. You giggled.

---

You ran out of the room, tripping over yourself, and made your way to Alfred. You clAmericaxReader Anesthetic Adventure2 months ago in Humor

Ben's New Look: MallratsBen Tennyson leaned back and yawned irritably. It was a bright and sunny Sunday afternoon... and he was stuck in a girl's clothing store.

He supposed it couldn't be helped; he and his family had been ambushed by Sixsix the bounty hunter that morning, and though a few blows from Fourarms sorted the bounty hunter out, the Rust Bucket was pretty beat up in the fight. They had no choice but to push the derelict vehicle to the nearest town. Grandpa Max had given the two of them some money to head out to the mall while he acquired the parts needed (presumably through some special Plumbers network).

And of course Gwen had insisted that her cousin Ben's New Look: Mallrats10 months ago in Humor

A Cup of Sunshine- Russia x Sick!Male!Reader

You coughed, shuddering at the sensation in your throat. That was the worst part of a cold, or was it the headaches? Then again, there wasn’t much to love about having a cold, unless you like the novelties of blurry eyes, an inability to go for three seconds without sneezing or having a body temperature that shouldn’t be found in nature. You lay back into the pillow, closing your eyes and trying to put your mind somewhere else. Preferable somewhere which was warm and you could sip at your cold drinks carried by waiters/waitresses wearing pretty much nothing. Somewhere where you had the best home cinema system ever and a massive stA Cup of Sunshine- Russia x Sick!Male!Reader5 months ago in Humor

America X Reader: Morning Yoga'I'm on top of a large mountain… Warm breezes tickling my face…. The sun is shining down upon me…-'

In reality you were sitting on a hard wooden floor, practicing yoga. You didn't normally do this but since your blood pressure had gone up quite a bit recently you decided it would make you calmer and at ease, and that's definitely what you needed right now.

Suddenly you felt an abrupt disturbance as a soft finger poked you right in the cheek.
"______.."
"What is it, Al?" you asked as calmly as you could muster.
"______, can we play (favorite video game)??"
"Sorry, I'm in the middle of my morning yoga.."
"Since when do America X Reader: Morning Yoga10 months ago in Humor

Run Run Run, as Fast as You Can... (Chapter 1)

But no matter how far, you've no place in the plan...

>> Screwthat!I'llfightformyrighttolive!

> Enter name.

Your name is NIGHKE PERLMU.

You are extremely hyperactive due to the massive amounts of SUGAR LOADED SWEETS you consume daily. It's a wonder your teeth haven't rotted out of your head by now. Your attention is easy to grab but hard to keep for everything but your interests. No, this does not mean you have ADD, no matter WHAT YOUR FRIENDS SAY. Also no, you are NOT ADDICTED to candy! Okay maybe a little, but you can totally stop if you want too! Addiction may be a powerful thing, but you are MORE POWERFUL...ER!

You were born with a pRun Run Run, as Fast as You Can... (Chapter 1)1 year ago in Humor

~*~Hetalia X Reader~*~~*~Hetalia X Reader~*~

WARNING
This is nothing but pure crack! Read at your own risk!

--

"Hey," (Name) said to the ex-country, Prussia.

"Vat?" He asked.

Poker-faced, the girl replied, "Shut the fuck up."

"Vhy should I?"

"Cause you're a bitch."

"Like hell I am!"

Prussia stood up and walked away with a "Humph!".

"What a pussy," (Name) muttered under her breath. She skipped merrily out of the German's house and suddenly ran across the street yelling, "We're all going to be abducted by aliens!!!"

She closed her eyes and let nature guide her way. Of course, she ended up running into a tree and falling flat on her back.

Italy just so ha~*~Hetalia X Reader~*~7 months ago in Humor

Nerd Rage ((AmericaxReader))Nerd Rage ((AmericaxReader))

Alfred sat by his girlfirend, ____ as she criticized a movie they rented that night. It was Alien vs. Predator Requiem. Alfred thought she might like it but turns out she thought is was very innacurate. Truw, he loved seeing her act like a nerd durig movies like this but he was kinda disappointed that she didn't like it.

____ had just stopped ranting about unnecessary character death and leaned back into Alfred's arms so she could relax. Alfred smiled and began nibbling her neck and her colar bone. "This might help you relax-" ____ Jumped out of her seat with fire burning in her eyes as Alfred fell flat onto hisNerd Rage ((AmericaxReader))6 months ago in Humor

Disney Storybits 72PLEASE READ THE DESCRIPTION BEFORE READING THIS STORYBIT!

Everyone needs sleep. This may have sounded like an obvious fact that everyone should know, but for Minnie, she had to hammer it home to her mind. Everyone needed sleep, including her. So like it or not, she had to return to the humble inn they were staying at. It wasn't that she didn't like the inn, because she did, with its traces of family comfort and homage to the good old days. It was run by kindly folks, and the pay for the room was cheap. The rooms were spacious and the beds were comfortable, and there was only one thing preventing her from fully enjoying her stay in that room.Disney Storybits 722 years ago in Humor

Nigel and Hoagie MSN Chat Part I(Numbuh2Guy is online)

Numbuh2Guy:
Herp derp~ ;P
What's up Mr. Galatic Kids Next Door?

UnoCujo:
mmm. At the moment, nothing, really
power's out
fancy that, in space XD

Numbuh2Guy:
*snicker* you break something already?

UnoCujo:
NOT MY FAULT THIS TIME
I SWEAR
It was a meteor shower

Numbuh2Guy:
Uh huh, thats what you said last time when a training base exploded and you happened to be standing near the core.
: >8)

UnoCujo:
kajrfhkajhfkjsahd
-u-
I was... overlooking it?

Numbuh2Guy:
why don't cha let ol' hoagie come up there, show you how its DONE.

UnoCujo:
no thank you
XD
I can be a big boy

Numbuh2Guy:
Yes thank Nigel and Hoagie MSN Chat Part I1 year ago in Humor

AmericaXReader: Fantasy [Chapter 2]

You roll onto your side, turning away from the burning morning sun that trickles through your window. The direction you’re facing now is cool and dark. You keep your eyes closed for a while longer, not really wanting to wake up anytime soon. However, after a moment, you decide to give it up and open your eyes…only to be met by a surprise. “Good morning!”

You scream and jump up so fast that you fall off of the bed, dragging the covers with you.

“What’s wrong? Did I scare you or something?” asks America. You stare at him, unsure if you’re still hallucinating or not.

He looks human.

YAmericaXReader: Fantasy [Chapter 2]3 months ago in Humor

41 Ways to Annoy Ratchet41 Ways to Annoy Ratchet:

1) Steal Ratchet's equipment; particularly his wrench.

2) Hit people with Ratchet's wrench while acting like the doc' himself.

3) Break Ratchet's equipment frequently.

4) Act like you know more than Ratchet.

5) Tell Ratchet he isn't helpful or instrumental at all in this war.

6) Show him all the ships, pairings, smut, lemons, and otherwise mpreg and otherwise with him in it. Even the stuff shipping him with Optimus/June/Megatron/Knock Out/Wheeljac/etc. Relish the rest of your life knowing you scarred him forever.

7) Mock Ratchet and mimic his gestures.

8) Call him a druggie after the Synthetic Energon inciden41 Ways to Annoy Ratchet1 week ago in Humor

IZ: The Birth Of The Ziminions"HOOOOOOOOWW?" Zim screamed to no one in particular.  "HOW IS IT THAT I STILL HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO CONQUER THE EARTH? I DEMAND ANSWERS!"  Zim believed that he was one of the best invaders in the universe and didn't understand why it was taking so long for him to take over the Earth.
"Maybe it's because you're wearing pink!"  Gir said, sitting on the couch and constantly flipping through the TV channels.
"QUIET GIR!  I'm trying to think."  Zim said right before noticing the channels constantly changing.  "Um what are you doing Gir?"
"Flipping through the channels."
"Why?"
"Cause IZ: The Birth Of The Ziminions3 years ago in Humor

Wholock: Stranger Than Fiction 1"Doctor, I think something went horribly wrong this time!" Rory yelled across the open space of the Tardis. The doctor was only visible from the waist down; the rest of him was sticking out of the Tardis door, trying to gage where they were now. "I'm inclined to agree with you," the Doctor yelled back.
Despite the Doctor's voice being calm and controlled, this statement did very little to reassure Rory. It might actually have made things a little bit worse. After all the Doctor was a man who, when confronted with life threatening situations, seemed to only be exited by the unknown and dangerous. So, if that man was agreeing with Rory that soWholock: Stranger Than Fiction 19 months ago in Humor

YogdrabblesHaircuts

Ever since the whole Cormburskan and Red accident, the group had become closer. They tried to live their lives normally thought.
They soon fell into a mundane routine.
On summer day however, Lalna noticed that it was starting to get harder for him to control his hair with the use of his goggles.
"I should probably get a haircut...." the scientist said to himself in thought to which Sjin looked at him.
"I could cut it for you!"
Now, everyone knew the architect was careful when he was working. He took special attention to detail and was pretty good at cutting hair.
But Lalna should have probably predicted whaYogdrabbles6 months ago in Humor

You Know You're Obsessed With Hetalia When...You know you're obsessed with Hetalia when…

[] When you wonder why the polar bear at the zoo isn't talking to you

[X] When your teacher questions you when you constantly squeal during History class

[X] When you scream "Happy Birthday Alfred" and/or "Take that Arthur" on the Fourth of July in a large crowd of people and are proud when they give you the WTF look

[X] When you know what Sealand is and people find you weird for telling them he's a little kid in a blue sailor suit that was for sale on eBay

[X] When you laugh if a country's "vital regions" are discussed in the news/media

[] When you question why only a few countries use You Know You're Obsessed With Hetalia When...2 months ago in Humor

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