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Baby!Dirk x Parent!ReaderShades? Check.

Poker Face? Check.

Katana? Che-...

You looked around the living room with a blank face. In the inside though, you were flipping your shit. You were a parent, not only did you have no clue where your katana was, you didn't know where Dirk was. That's when you connected the dots. Your eyes narrowed under your ironic shades. A cheesy flash of unnatural light went over them then the (e/c) of hell shone through. "That little shit."

You flash stepped out of the room and dashed down the hall of your apartment. You threw open door after door until you arrived at your room. By now your Stider face was cracking and a worried sort ofBaby!Dirk x Parent!Reader7 hours ago in Humor

[APH] Strip Poker - IntroSitting on the couch, a bowl of popcorn on her lap and a bottle of beer in her hand, (Name) just stared at the television that wasn’t even on. She was so bored, but didn’t want to watch anything, since there was never anything on. She thought about watching a movie, but nothing interested her. Next was the brilliant idea of going out, but she was too lazy.

Sighing, she sat the bowl and bottle onto the coffee table and fell over onto the couch. Groaning loudly, she turned over and screamed into the cushion, kicking her legs out. Boredom had a taken a toll on her, and she didn’t want to be alone anymore.

Jumping up, she went[APH] Strip Poker - Intro2 hours ago in Humor

Baby!Dave x Parent!ReaderYou were staring at the ceiling with a blank face. Your eyes were locked onto one thing, it was quite amazing really. Up, high above the room, clinging to the ceiling fan, was Dave. You had no clue how the hell he got up there, but he didn't seem to care. "If you fall on your ass I'm gonna laugh at you, know that right?"

He blinked at you before making a baby noise and letting go of the ceiling fan as if to test what you said. Your eyes widened for a fraction of a second under your shades before narrowing into thin slits of rage. "I see, so you want to test my loyalty do you? Well young Dave, you're about to understand the depth of my affectBaby!Dave x Parent!Reader3 hours ago in Humor

Grub!Tavros x Lusus!ReaderYou were laying on your back, looking at Tavros, he stared back with a frown. Even though you were looking at him upside down he looked right side up. The reason for that is the little grub tried to get off the couch and ended up getting his horns stuck in the floor. You saw no reason to flip him the right way, so you just joined him. He didn't seem to appreciate you not helping him, but it he didn't scare you.

He looked too adorable with his little legs flailing around.

"Crr...nng!" He seemed to be getting frustrated with his inability to get right way around. You reached over and tickled his side, making his contorted face turn into a gleGrub!Tavros x Lusus!Reader5 hours ago in Humor

Not Kidding

This starts on the second line of the GND Speshul - Kids 6.5

Sarah was still glaring at him, though no longer pacing around the living room of his apartment. Her arms were crossed, and she continued her rant, but her overall volume had, thankfully, decreased.

“You left a ten-year-old criminal mastermind baking cookies with my clueless roommate whom he happens to obsess over… That’s still pretty twisted, Goblin King.”

Taking a moment to regret the fact that she had ceased her striding all about – really, she has a figure that I can’t get enough of – Jareth calmly answered her. Really, his tone wasNot Kidding3 hours ago in Humor

OriginalShipping- Mountain Shenanigans1: First Words

Red sat behind a boulder, waiting with Pika. It was Sunday, which meant that Green was bound to show up for his weekly visit with Red. The former champion was bored and had far too much free time on his hands, and making snow-Pikas had gotten old, so he decided to scare the living hell out of the gym leader.

And as predicted, Green showed up and wandered the summit of Mt. Silver. When he was dangerously close to the boulder, Red jumped up and screamed, “I am the champion!!”

Green was startled, but he only stared at Red with a quizzical look before he started looking around. Red watched Green in confusion as he raOriginalShipping- Mountain Shenanigans2 hours ago in Humor

Action Stars Vs. Darkstalkers: BishamonBishamon:

“Blood! Blood! I must spill more blood!”

“My sword, Kien, is not yet satisfied. I shall find a more worthy opponent.”

"How could you hope to defeat me! The immortal spirit of Bushido."

Vs. Sylvester Stallone: “How much battle has this warrior experienced? Do you still hunger for more or has your very mind been shattered?”

Vs. Dwayne Johnson “The Rock”: “Is this the last of the Akkaidens? The great Scorpion King? Such a disappointment.”

Vs. Arnold Schwarzenegger: “It does not matter how tempered your body is. If you can bleed, then you can die.”

Vs. Dolph Action Stars Vs. Darkstalkers: Bishamon2 hours ago in Humor

A random insane crack Halloween Echidna memeRULES:

- Pick 13 of your OCs in any order. If you don’t have 13 OCs use canon, borrow yer friends's char, whatever.
- Don't look at the numbers in the questions while picking the characters!
- Link back to the blank.
- Have fun! :eyes:

PICK YOUR LOVELIES!

1. Locke
2. Dimitri
3. Kragok
4. Sabre
5. Moritori
6. Spectre
7. Finitevus
8. Sojourner
9. Remington
10. Mighty ("Why me again?")
11. Lien-Da
12. Harry
13. Xenin

-------------

1. Before you do anything, you found [5] and [1] in your room in the middle of a staring contest. What was your reaction and do they ask you for candies?
(Moritori, Locke)
Aqua: Uhm, would you mind stop exchA random insane crack Halloween Echidna meme3 hours ago in Humor

Prussia x Reader x England Part 6Gilbert mumbled curse-words as he speed walked down to his class. "Stupid ( Male name ), geez!" he grumbled. He bumped into Arthur, and hissed like a snake. Arthur backed up. "Uhh, sorry..." Gilbert just pushed him out of the way and continued to walk angrily. "..What the bloody hell...?" Arthur said, confused.

You kicked Ivan where no man should be kicked, and walked off. You were mad at Gilbert. Even though Gilbert just thinks being passionate towards guys is "gay". You didn't know that. You thought he was just being a plain ass to you for no complete reason. Unfortunately, you had the same first period class with him.

Even adding to thatPrussia x Reader x England Part 67 hours ago in Humor

10 ways to annoy Thalia1. Call her pinecone face.
2. Call her thunder butt or lightning fart (or any other very lame nickname)
3. Hand her all the fan-fictions that involve her with Apollo.
4. If she turns red because she's mad, then say, "OOOOH BLUSHING!"
5. If she blushes, then run around saying, "OOH! THAILIA'S BLUSHING!"
6. Make her read fanfictions that involve her in everyone of them.
7. When she's alone somewhere, go "*cough* *cough* Forever alone. *cough* cough*"
8. Whenever Apollo's around, wiggle your eyebrows at her.
9. Make sure Apollo sees.
10. Make sure Thalia knows that Apollo saw.10 ways to annoy Thalia7 hours ago in Humor

JUST SOME RANDOM ASS SHITJUST SOME RANDOM ASS SHIT

this story comes from three perspectives.
so yeah.

"Their mine. They'll do what I say 'cuz they're my bitches now." Savannah said.
"What? No! Their mine and they always will be!" I said back. Dave and dirk were mine.
This room was a secret room. well, it was supposed to be. Me and Savannah had discovered it and declared it a secret and ours. But it seems everyone had done this at some point. "Karkat said you can have him." Kankri said.
"Hey thats karkats business!" Savannah broke from our fight over the striders.
"Yeah, fuckass, That was my personal business!" Karkat yelled. "Oh wait, I know something too&hellJUST SOME RANDOM ASS SHIT8 hours ago in Humor

Dragon Slayers- Pt. 1"Hi, Kata-chan!"

Kat turned to see the little dragon slayer by her side.

"Hey, Wendy," Kat said with a smile, "What's up?"

"Nothing! Just came to say hi!"

Kat smiled and started to walk towards the bar, with Wendy on her heels.

"Hey, Mirajane," Kat waved.

"Hi, guys," Mira smiled, "You want some sodas?"

"Definately!" Kat said, "I'm way thirsty!"

Mirajane came back a second later with their sodas and said, "There's some new jobs on
the request board. Why don't you check them out?"

"Hey, yeah," Kat grabbed her soda, "C'mon Wendy!"

Wendy grabbed her soda, then followed the ice dragon slayer to the request board. Kat looked at all the jDragon Slayers- Pt. 159 minutes ago in Humor

Tmnt Makenna part7It's the next day after the kiss
I already had my bacon and eggs breakfast and played a game that my dog part made me play fetch
Leo threw the remote at me so I could change the channel and I caught it in my mouth
Everyone kept laughing
So I went in the dojo
Raph was there sparring
He turns around
"Sup Kenn"
"I need to ask a question yesterday did you mean what you yelled at Leo?"
He turns red
"Y-You heard that?"
I smile
"Yup I did"
He just stops sparring
"H-Heh are you creeped out badly?"
I look weird at him
"Why would you ask that I thought it was adorable"
He turns redder
"Really?"
I nod
I hear a scream out of the doors
"What was that!"
Raph looks serious at me
"A Mikey scream"
(Cliff hanger MUH HA HA HA!"Tmnt Makenna part75 hours ago in Humor

After Two ButterbeersAfter Two Butterbeers
By HazelShadow6
(Originally written on August 7, 2005)

It was a cold night. A breeze hit Severus Snape in the face as he walked towards the gates of Hogwarts. He had his cloak wrapped tightly around him. It was freezing.

Earlier that day, most of the students had left for their Christmas break. Snape was looking forward to staying in his dungeon office and working on his newest invention. It was not a spell, but a potion that makes the hair of the drinker silky smooth. That was his great plan for the holidays. Only the Dark Lord had decided to call upon his Death Eaters. Snape was going to ignore it and continue with hAfter Two Butterbeers5 hours ago in Humor

America x Reader You walked through the New York streets with a dejected sigh. Getting to school was a troublesome thing, having to go through the crowded streets on your daily commute to the torture chamber known as high school.
Tossing a strand of your (h/c) hair out of your eyes, you made your way through the surging crowd. People were running in every direction, everyone had somewhere to go, and not enough time to get there.
"Hey, watch it kid!" A man with dark brown hair and an interesting curl on the left side of his head snapped at you. Muttering a curt apology, you brushed past him, ignoring his cold stare. "Fricking Italian..." You said to yoAmerica x Reader7 hours ago in Humor

One Way Or Another - III

Fenris did not know what to make out of the whole situation. Part of him was still convinced that this woman was only playing some kind of game, but another part told him that she was honestly in trouble.
Critically he watched her, now that she cleaned herself. Her chin-length hair was dark, her eyes on the contrary very pale. In case she felt insecure, she tried not to show it.
"I need help with a mission", she said. "And when I learned from the three of you... well, the two of you... I knew that it had be you!"
Chuckling, Zevran leaned back on the bed and said: "Ah, my dear, you have no idea how often I heard that before..."
Frowning, her eyes went from the blond elf to Fenris and back. "Do I look as if I am joking?" She sounded annoyed, and Fenris felt a sparkle of sympathy raise inside of him. Zevran could be quite annoying with his way of taking nothing serious.
"Actually you look as if your are tense", the assassin answered nonchalantly, shootOne Way Or Another - III7 hours ago in Humor

Tmnt Makenna part6I walk down the hallway after the kiss
I had to
I wonder if she hates me for that
I suddenly stop walking
And turn around
Mikey stands there with the biggest smile ever
With his camera
"What are you doing!"
He hides his camera
"Just taking blackmailing opportunities"
My eyes shoot open
"Saw your kiss"
I start to run after him waking up Leo when Mikey gets slammed into his door
"What the shell is happening!"
Me and Mikey stop running
Mikey tries to hide his grin
"Oh just trying to... RAPH KISSED MAKENNA!"
He runs off before I could strangle him
I try to walk away
"Raph did you really kiss her? This late"
My arms twitch
Someone is going to be strangled
"Ok then I'm just going to ask her bout the kiss"
My arm grabs onto his shell
"Fine I kissed her just don't ask her anything, I REALLY LIKE HER TOO!"Tmnt Makenna part66 hours ago in Humor

Tmnt Makenna part5I lay wide awake
I can't sleep tonight
My stomach has butterflies
From what happend earlier
10:06 pm
I sit in the couch
Everyone is asleep
Except Raph
He walks in the living room
"Still up?"
I look at him
"Yup"
He looks wide awake
"Wanna train a bit it makes me tired"
I get up
"Yeah guess so"
We walk into the dojo
"We're just going to spar"
I put my weapons down
"Hajima!"
"What ever you say"
By the time 5 minutes are up we both are tired out
But the fight isn't over yet
He gets control over me
I stumble on the floor while he pins me down
Face to face
"Your hurting my arm"
"I need to ask you something"
My eyes squint at him
I don't know what he is going to ask
All I'm worrying about is getting loose
"Why do you always act like Donnie 'round me?"
My eyes shoot open
"What do you mean?"
He grins
Sinisterly
"You always blush when I accidentally touch you"
I keep struggling but it is no use
I look him in the eyes
"Fine I like you really like you I love your sarcasm and stu..."
I feel aTmnt Makenna part56 hours ago in Humor

This Is BadUgh...

Deidara sat up, cracking his neck, then looked around the room. Strange, he thought. I can only see out of one eye...I mean I can usually barely see out of the one but this is different. Like one isn't there at all. And this isn't my room...

He ran his hand through his hair, trying to remember if he had had alcohol the previous night and, if so, what had happened. His hair seemed much shorter than normal. Had he cut it? And his hand... When he did that, his head would normally be wet, due to the mouths on his hands. A tongue would lick his head if it was near enough. But this time, there was nothing. Even more confused, he brought thThis Is Bad49 minutes ago in Humor

MOKA FROM Rosario + Vampire

Moka AshiyidaMOKA FROM Rosario + Vampire1 hour ago in Humor

Happy Birthday Not to Me (Bleach FF)Hi! Is there someone in your life who isn’t' happy?
Do they need a friend?
Or even a love?
Well you've come to the right place.
Hi, I'm Sadie.
I'm an author, artist and personal consultant.
I'll will make you a character to match whatever you need.
Main?
Sub?
Love interest?
Villain?
Protagonist?
You name it, I can do it.
I'll will led my powers of bring writing to life and give you someone you wondered how you could ever live without.
Please contact me at WolfxSoul-
blah blah blahblahblah blah blahaha blahabal blaha ahalbal

“What the hell is this?” Looking towards my friend, she shrugged.

“I made if you so you Happy Birthday Not to Me (Bleach FF)3 hours ago in Humor

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