"So, Axel....what scheme do you have or us today that will ultimately get us kicked out of the castle and/or ripped to pieces?" Roxas asked as he put some bread in the toaster.
"THE SUPERIOR?! Axel, are you out of your freaking mind? He'll beat you to a pulp!"
"But that's part of the fun, Roxy!"
"Getting beaten to a pulp?"
"No, the possibilty of being beaten to a pulp."
"So what are you going to do to him?"
"Well.... I'd say something big."
"Axel, I don't like where this is going."
Axel gave him a devilish grin. "Here's the plan."
"Organization members, assemble."
Twelve Nobodies appeared in their respective chairs, some of them looking very unhappy. "What is it?" Axel hissed. Xemnas kept a straight face on. "Well, I was thinking....perhaps we need a break."
This was greeted by a lot of things. One of the major things was: "WHAT have you been sniffing?!" and "What about Kingdom Hearts?" and also "Sweet, where are we going?" The Superior waved them off. "One, NOTHING, thank you very much. Two, Kingdom Hearts can wait. Three, I was thinking...perhaps an amusement park?"
Murmurs of agreement came from the crowd. "Then it's settled. We'll meet on Earth in ten minutes. Be sure to get ready. And, people, no murdering innocent people...I'm in no mood to clear your name."
"Where are they..." Xemnas muttered to himself. The rest of the Organization should have been here by now.
Before Xemnas could even turn around, he was shot in the head by twelve water guns. "RGH! WHAT?!" the Superior roared as his hair and his coat were being soaked. He shut his eyes to keep the water out, and he raised his hands in protection. After a couple minutes, the onslaught stopped.
The Superior opened his eyes to find his Organzation, the closest family he knew, the people he trusted...standing there with squirt guns in their hands. He shook his head to get rid of the water.
"Who...WHO PLANNED THIS?!" Xemnas roared. Immediately everyone pointed at Axel. The Flurry of Dancing Flames stood there with a smirk on his face.
Xemnas growled and ran toward Axel. The fiery redhead widened his eyes and squirted Xemnas some more to protect himself, but the Superior ignored it and continued to chase after Axel. The hothead swore loudly and ran away, still blasting Xemnas in the face.
"I hope he lives," Demyx murmured, biting his nails.
"I hope he dies," Larxene muttered darkly.
"It doesn't look good...Xemnas is pulling out his aerial blades..." Saix observed.
"Aw dude! This should be good!" Xigbar exclaimed.
Roxas's eyes were following the two Nobodies as they chased each other through the parking lot. "Guys....Xemnas just spotted a water gun....do you know what that means?"
"It means Axel's gonna get a hose down!" Xigbar shouted. Axel heard this and turned to Xigbar, only to get blasted in the face by the Superior. Axel screamed, the water sizzling off his skin. Xemnas showed no mercy. He continued to squirt Axel.
"Oh man....Xemnas is going to kill him! Literally! I've never seen him in so much pain before..." Roxas said with worry.
"Why is he in pain? It's just water." Demyx asked.
"He's in pain, man," Xigbar explained. "Because he's fire. Fire plus water equals bad things to fire."
"I'd better go calm Xemnas down...before he kills Axel...." Saix muttered before walking up to the Superior.
"Superior, sir....you're going to kill him."
"What?" Xemnas looked up from his water gun to see a screaming Axel before him. He was clouded in condensation. He stopped screaming and glared at Xemnas. The 'fog' faded. "I'll...kill....you...." he threatened, limping towards his superior. Roxas stepped forward. "Stop killing, please!" he begged.
Axel stared at Roxas, his face emotionless. Suddenly he collasped. Roxas jumped in surprise, then raced over to help his friend. Axel was panting heavily. "Stupid...water......kill.....Mansex...." he muttered through short breaths. Roxas sighed in relief. Axel couldn't be that bad if he was using his favorite nickname for the superior.
Suddenly Roxas turned to his superior. "How could you do this?! He can only take so much water! Argh, where's Vexen when you need him...." He trailed off, looking around. "He went off to the games!" Xigbar called.
Xemnas dropped the water gun. Axel did look seriously ill. His gaze softened. He looked around to find all the other Organization members had left, save for Xigbar, Saix, Axel, Roxas, Demyx and himself.
"I'll go find him," Saix offered. Xemnas put his hand up. "No, I will." Saix started to protest, but hastily decided he shouldn't. Xemnas disappeared in a portal. Meanwhile, Roxas was still leaning over Axel, murmuring to him.
"...Axel, it's okay....Vexen will be here soon....shh....rest..."
"I don't think so Axel.... I think he was just angry."
"So he killed you?" Roxas translated. "No... you're not dead yet."
"No, you won't! Just rest."
"Why was he angry? You attacked him!"
"I told you, I don't think he meant to kill you, Axel. AND YOU'RE NOT DEAD YET!"
Axel stayed silent. Little did they both know, Xemnas had returned with Vexen- and had heard part of their conversation. He felt...something. Whatever it was, if he had a heart, it would feel heavy.
Vexen walked up to Axel. "Water?! Axel, you idiot! What did you do?"
Axel raised a shaky hand to point at Xemnas, who was still staring at Axel. Vexen turned and nodded. "Well, we better get you dry. Anyone have a towel, or something?"
"Whatcha doin'?" Axel asked.
"Shush. I'm spying on Xemnas." Roxas answered. The vent was crowded with the Keyblade master and the redhead, and Roxas hoped the vent wouldn't give out. That would be bad. Very bad.
"Aw, Roxy, you're getting more like me every day. So, what's old Xemmy up to?"
"...I think he's losing it...."
"He's making a cereal...from scratch."
"....Are you serious?"
"Yeah....he calls it 'The Cereal That Never Was'. It's kind of....funny, but creepy."
"..." Axel almost exploded in laughter once he saw his superior in the kitchen, humming, bent over a bowl of what Axel presumed was.....bran? Eww, he wasn't going to eat bran! That's for old people! "At least he didn't name it Xemnas Flakes."
But was more important was what Xemnas was humming. Axel and Roxas listened carefully. Finally, Roxas spoke.
"....You can't be serious. I know what he's humming." Roxas whispered.
"What?" Axel asked.
"He's singing...." Roxas snickered. "Kiss the Girl. And you know who the girl is, don't you....a certain blue-haired Nobody we know..."
"....NO WAY!" Axel screamed. He jumped up, and the vent cracked.
"AXEL! This is not good!" Roxas hissed quietly. Xemnas stopped humming and raised his head. The vent creaked again, and then it gave.
Xemnas stared, wide-eyed, as the ceiling exploded. Dust and debris flew everywhere. Out of the mess, two heads popped out. One of them was a blonde, one was a redhead. Axel and Roxas.
"Ah, Number VIII, Number XIII. You're just in time," Xemnas greeted. Axel and Roxas exchanged confused looks. They both thought they were going to be banished or beheaded. But Xemnas looked perfectly calm, despite the fact he knew Roxas and Axel had been spying on him and that the ceiling would probably have to be replaced. "Would you like to try some? I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, since you were spying on me," Xemnas invited, holding out a bowl.
Roxas took some out of respect, but Axel stayed away. It might have poison, or worse- bran.
Xigbar snickered. "Are you serious, dude?"
"Yeah, I swear! He named it, 'The Cereal That Never Was'! Oh my God I almost died laughing!" Axel explained. The other members, save for the Superior himself, were huddled around, listening to Axel's exciting story.
"Guys, the Superior is going to kill you if he heard this..." Saix warned.
"Aw, have some fun Saix!" Roxas joked, punching Saix in the shoulder. Suddenly Xigbar's toast popped up. He grabbed it and raised it in the air.
"Look dudes, it's 'The Toast That Never Was'!" At this, everyone bursted into laughter, even Saix chuckled a bit.
"What's so funny?" A deep voice asked. Xigbar jumped up, dropping his toast. He knew that voice from anywhere. Xemnas appeared, his arms crossed. Everyone froze.
"Well, Number II? Are you going to tell me?" Xemnas asked again, tapping his foot. Xigbar gathered up courage, picked up the toast, and held the toast in front of the Superior. "It's 'The Toast That Never Was'!"
Xigbar shielded himself with his hands, expecting to be pulverised into oblivion. However, the leader of Organization 13 just chuckled. "That's pretty funny, Xigbar....perhaps you should go into comedy sometime."
Xigbar looked at the other Organization members with a 'He's lost it' look. Axel stared at him, returning a 'I told you so' look.
Xemnas left, leaving the other members to talk about why Xemnas acted so...weird. Suudenly all the heads turned to Axel, save for Roxas. They all asked, "WHAT DID YOU SPIKE HIS DRINK WITH?"
"Nothing! Seriously, just because I did it once doesn't mean I'd do it again!" Axel replied.
"Wait, wait, wait....you spiked his drink once?" Roxas asked.
"How do you think I got this 'X' on my forehead?" Saix interrupted, pointing at his scar. Roxas stared at it wide-eyed. He'd seen it before, but Saix never told him how he got it.
"Wait, XEMNAS did that!?" he questioned. Saix nodded. Roxas jumped up. "TELL ME EVERYTHING!" he pleaded.
Saix explained that Axel had spiked Xemnas's tea at night. Xemnas, after a couple of glasses, got a little...tipsy and pinned Saix down. He muttered something about the Organization before pulling out an aerial blade. Saix screamed and writhed beneath Xemnas's hold, but the Superior drew an 'X' on Saix's forehead with his aerial blade.
"It burned into my skin... and left this scar," Saix finished.
"It was pretty gruesome," Xaldin added.
"Can you imgine how Xemnas felt, though? The guilt!" Axel laughed. "He stayed in his room for a week!"
Roxas collasped on the couch. "I'll never look at him the same way again...."
"Neither did we," Larxene replied.
"He screamed when he saw my scar," Saix scrunched up his face. "He couldn't believe that HE did that."
"...Wanna spike his drink again and see what he does?" Roxas asked Axel.
"NOW you're talkin' my language!" Axel replied.